Happy New Year!!

To my dearest blogger friends whom I have so severely neglected...my bad!
I would use the excuse "I've been busy" but I have come to absolutely HATE that statement, and I will tell you exactly why right. now.

Have you ever had a friend say they were too busy to hang out...and then they check themselves in later at a movie with their boyfriend? Annoying, right? But we can hardly blame them, their love life is their priority.

Ah...see what I just did there? No?

I obnoxiously pointed out that we as humans are rarely "too busy" to to do something. "I'm too busy" should probably be re-phrased as "I have more important things to do". Not like that is a bad thing, I just don't like blame being put on busyness. Call it how it is!

I am one of the biggest hypocrites for writing this rant right now. I have used the busy excuse for all of my adult life (cuz, let's face it, I was never busy...more like bored to tears...as a home-schooled child). Maybe that's why I always choose to live a hectic life. I hate feeling lonely and ignored probably just as much as the next person, but since its selfish me, I feel like I hate the feeling more than anyone else in the ENTIRE UNIVERSE. How do you avoid being lonely? By being to busy to hang out anyways! Ha! Now what?!

Problem is, I grew out of that lonely stage. I now have a great life and am surrounded by awesome friends. But I still have this urge to make myself as inaccessible as possible...why? That is something I have decided to work on this year. (Not for the next 6 months or so though of course, the next 6 months are dedicated to getting some schooling/bill paying out of the way!)

Sigh. Someday...someday I will be more of a normal human being. (Is anyone exactly sure what being normal is anymore? Let me know...)

I was going to write about school, or my diet, or work, but I feel like that's all I ever write/talk about and quite frankly, even I am sick of hearing myself go on about these things.

I want at least 1 more week on my diet before I can make an informed blog post about it. 1 more week will be my 1 month mark, which is the length of diet I committed too, at which point I will decide what I think about it/if I would like to continue it. Btw...I actually stuck with something for a month! Well, 4 weeks. My life revolves around weeks (thank you Pizza Pipeline) so it's hard for me to think in any other format now. Anyways, the point is, I can do it!

OH YEAH! That's really the point I wanted to make here...(I forgot, I got carried away with my rant).

I got so used to using the "busy" excuse with my relationships that without even realizing it, I started using it on myself. I don't make home-cooked meals because I don't have time. I don't go to sleep on time because I'm too busy doing anything else. I turned myself into a lazy undisciplined ass! And now I'm dealing with it.

The biggest thing this diet has taught me is that I have control over my own body. I know you guys are saying "well duh" right now, but let me continue. Low carb dieting means I can eat basically nothing, anywhere. Definitely not any fast food or pizza at work. So without even thinking about it, I bought a weeks worth of meat and prepared it when I started dieting. It wasn't until I was shopping for the second week that it hit me...wait a minute...I DON'T HAVE TIME TO COOK! Silly me, what was I thinking? Apparently all this time I could have simply made cooking a priority and therefore had time to cook. Mind = blown. And then all the other things I could have made a priority came rushing to me over the last couple weeks...You mean I could make sleep a priority? Stop watching my shows and just go to sleep? You mean to tell me I could make my relationships a priority over work? (Now that is a hard one...I am a very dedicated worker.) But seriously, it makes my head hurt to recall how many times I chose furthering my management career over a relationship (romantic or friend). Not that all the guys deserved me to be giving 100% (I used to date a lot of douche bags) but there were one or two guys along the way that I actually really cared about, and I know cared about me, and I did not give them the priority in my life that they deserved.

I have no regrets, life would be pretty boring if we were born with all the wisdom in the world. I get it, we have to live life and learn. But man, I wish I wasn't such a slow learner!

The good news is, I'm way smarter now. Exponentially so. So...there.

P.S. I just spent 3 hours on homework, and now another 20 minutes on this post so I am now commanding my body to go to sleep! Because it's my body and I do what I want with it even when it doesn't want to.

Finally figuring out how to be in charge feels good :)